Putting it all Together

I've been thinking a lot about how to sum up what my faith and how I have come to think of the divine.  To say that I am anti-Mormon or anti anything is a mistake.  I am not one of those who; when their faith fails to live up to their expectations; either abandons or turns upon their former faith.  Rather I am one who sought the truth with my heart, questioning everything that didn't make sense. I had to find answers that felt right without going the denial route. I had to puzzle my way out of a kind of thought trap. 

 I was raised Mormon and found that despite a lot of good it offers, I didn't feel right about the exclusionary view of the divine it teaches. Later I came to have the same issue with any religion that teaches that they themselves control access to God, other religions and everyone who isn't a good member of their religion will fail to go to heaven to live with God. Even back then I think I basically felt that God choose his friends much the same as I did: common interests; not by some label, or ritual.  Yet I couldn't deny the scriptures nor deny the witnesses of the LDS church.  I was stuck in a dilema. 

One fall I attended a Hindu festival in Spanish Fork Ut.  Visiting was a monk from Brazil.  He spoke to a class of us and I really liked his spirit.  After he was done most everyone moved on but I lingered.  I explained that while I enjoyed visiting the hindu faith I couldn't reconcile it with the christian doctrines especially baptism.  He was puzzled and said that he had no problem accepting Jesus as an avatar from God.  He couldn't see my dilemma.  So I explained  that Jesus taught that we should follow Him and that we all needed to be baptized.  He smiled gently and said that he agreed we do need to follow Jesus in submitting to God's will, but that Christ never said we needed to be baptized.  His disciples taught that.  So I asked him about the scripture where Jesus said that except a man be born of the water and of the spirit one cannot enter into heaven.  The monk smiled again and said yes that is true.  I was a little mystified:  How could it be true, according to this teacher, that we don't need to be baptized, but that we do have to be born of the water: which can only mean we have to be baptized?  He kindly explained my error:  Being born of the water was when our mother gave birth to us. According to him Jesus wasn't referring to baptism, he was referring to our birth: getting a body.  He went on to point out that the scriptures say that Jesus didn't baptize anyone, only his disciples did.   It was an eye opening experience and I wondered if there were other ways of understanding the scriptures which would allow me a more comfortable point of view.

There was still a long way to go.