So you think you love Jesus.

My son spoke to me of a young lady I'll call Karen, who had chosen to be vegetarian. I wondered if perhaps she was an idealist. Was she one of those rare individuals who really wants to spend her life seeking the divine. What might I share with such a one? (A few days ago when the thought came to my mind, my head was full and my heart was so passionate. I was driving with the radio off and I had an imaginary conversation with her. On those occasions when I begin to think of sharing with others what God has shared with me, my heart fills with the love and joy. This is a faltering attempt to recover a little of what I remember of those thoughts amd the imaginary conversation I had with her.)

"My son tells me you’re a vegetarian?"

"Yes, I don't like killing animals, especially if I don't have to. Plus it’s a healthier way to live."

"Is this part of an effort to come closer to Jesus? My son tells me that you read the scriptures every night and have been encouraging him to do the same."

"Well I try. It is a good way to keep our thoughts on a higher level."

"Your right, but it can be dangerous, you know."

"How can reading the scriptures be dangerous?"

"When one truly reaches out to the divine, without ego in the effort, from love, not duty, as a life-long permanent passion; then the divine can't help but respond. But divine beings live according to a much higher set of principles. Three things will happen to you as you make contact with divine beings:

The first thing to is: You will be taught, and you'll become aware of a higher way to live. Initially this will bring you joy. The Holy Spirit and angels love to share with us the Godly joy they experience. Once you taste it you will always want it. Divine joy is as addictive as any drug. But this spiritual ecstasy won't happen when you want it; only as the Holy Spirit directs. So don’t let yourself start craving it. Have you already had an experience with God? Something like a very strong dream or vision. Perhaps a moment when the Spirit really guided you? It may be something so precious that you feel shy about sharing it with most people.”

“I had a dream.”

“Do you want to share it? I’d love to hear about it.”

“Not really. I don’t really understand what it means.” 

“That’s OK. If you change your mind perhaps I could help you understand the meaning. I had a dream when I was four and only recently have I grasped what it meant. I watched a brightly colored train cross the sky. I tried to point it out to the rest of my family, but they were too busy and never looked up to see it. “ 

“So what did it mean?”

“Someone called into a radio show to a guy called the dream doctor with almost the same dream. He said it meant that the individual was very aware of the spiritual side of life and all the good it offered. But that when they tried to help others see the same, they didn’t get it. They put no value on the spiritual things.”

“Wow that’s really interesting!” 

“Anyway the second thing is: you will naturally begin to apply what you have learned. Whenever you succeed there will be deeper peace, whenever you fail there will be greater pain. Little mistakes, that never would have bothered you, will matter a lot. Little good things you do will bring you much more joy. Big things are, of course, a big deal.”

Karen said, “I’ve already experienced that one. A friend wanted me to tell a little lie for them. I finally said I would. So I did but then I couldn’t stop feeling guilty about it. I warned my friend that I was going to back and tell the truth. They were so mad. But I did it and now it doesn’t bother me anymore.”

“So you know. You can’t be casual about God. The fact is your looking for innocence. There is no Godly peace without innocence. The Holy Spirit once gave me a feeling of total innocence. I didn’t know what it was but it felt so nice. I was so happy. Then to a friend I repeated some gossip, and the feeling was suddenly gone. I missed it so bad and I felt so dirty.”

“So what is the third thing?”

“The third thing is that those around you will be interested in, and sometimes disturbed by your efforts. They will attempt to keep you within their definition of 'good'. When you go outside their expectations, they will try to stop you. Except for the occasional contact with your divine friends, you will eventually find yourself alienated and alone. Soon you will learn, not to hide; but also not to share easily the good God gives you. Not sharing will sadden you at first, but after awhile you’ll get used to it.

Longing for divine joy, your own personal failures, the pain of being alone, and the hurt you will feel when differences hurt others; all these make this a dangerous quest. But if you’re up to it the rewards make any sacrifice worth it."

I could see that my words gave her pause. I had given her no credentials. There was only one way she would come to know that what I said was true: The Holy Spirit. But it had happened years before. From time to time I had shared thoughts of God with someone and suddenly they would be telling me, with a light shining in their eyes, that they knew for themselves what I had said was true and significant. So I was hoping she had the humility and closeness to the Holy Spirit to know the truth of what I said.

“If it leads me to God, then it’s the way for me. What other choice is there?”

“You could not seek truth, what truth you do perceive; keep to your self. The peace it allows is the peace of darkness and death of inner meaning.”

“Why would anyone ever choose to turn their back on God? That’s not for me. I want to do more than just live. I want a purpose. I want to make a difference.”

With time I don't think she'll be so certain. But for now her naivety and innocent ideas carries with it the bright, but temporary joy of uncrushed hopes. In time the Lord will give her the wisdom to move on to hopes and dreams, which cannot fail. When she lets go of hoping those closest will quickly embrace the truths she enjoys; then she'll find a deeper and more enduring hope: that if not now; then certainly later, God will guide her loved ones to the happiness of the knowledge she now enjoys. The greater hopes of the divine depend, not on the present, but on eternity. 

"Do you think if you met Jesus you would like Him?"

I like to ask this question of those who are beginning to get serious about righteousness. A long time ago I took it for granted that I would love Christ.

“I sure hope so.”

“I used to be certain I would, until I had a dream: Priesthood meeting had a new teacher. He taught with a friendly smile. But he didn't follow the lesson manual. Soon he began to say things that really bothered me. Others began to argue with him and some threw pencils and wadded up paper. Soon there was such an up roar that he couldn't continue. He was still smiling that friendly smile as he started walking out. I was outraged at what he had been saying. I was sitting next to the isle. As he past me, he lightly touched me on the shoulder and said, "You too are forgiven." 

 At that moment I suffered a kind of spiritual seizure. I was angry and indignant at what He had just said; but I suddenly knew that this man was Jesus Christ.

That dream had started me wondering. If a man came who taught ideas, which didn't fit my religion, how would I feel? Once after Sunday school class about Christ, I had asked the teacher if he met Jesus did he think he would like Him? I was impressed at the thoughtful insights he had shared with the class. At my question, He stopped erasing the chalkboard, turned and angrily glared at me, "I would love Him!" He was so sure. I was also sure. Sure that he would have been one of the first to nail Jesus to the cross. I had once been certain like him.”

Karen paused thoughtfully for a moment and then said, “So maybe we’re not as ready to accept Him as we think.”

“Well I knew I wasn’t. I began thinking about it a lot. I wondered to myself: ’If I wouldn't love Him, how was I at least to become someone who would accept Him?’ In the dream I had been angry over the way Jesus trampled all over my religion's doctrine. Perhaps if I weren’t so attached to any set of beliefs I would be more prepared to receive Him. I went back and read about Jesus’ disciples. Not one of them was considered a good Jew. They all treated their religion rather casually. I had grown up believing that to be righteous meant obeying every rule: going to church every Sunday, paying my tithing, holding callings in the church, and praying and reading the scriptures. But those who did follow Jesus seem to have done little of that. Those who did rely on rule and doctrines were those who persecuted Him. I realized that I wasn't someone who would like Him far less love Him. I needed to change that about myself. I realized that learning where one is in their relationship with Jesus is a crucial insight.” 

Karen seemed to be thinking about this. She really surprised me. I had tried to share these thought with others and found that most wouldn’t. They would take the conversation in a different direction or really had to struggle to get what I was trying to say. The very thought that perhaps they didn’t love Christ is anathema to most Christians. 

“I have always believed by being a good Mormon I show I love Him and follow Him. Your saying we’ve got Him all wrong.”

“If it makes you feel any better this thought is universal across all religions. From devoted Catholics to Baptists to Jehovah’s Witnesses and even to Islams and Hindus.”

“But they don’t even believe in Christ.”

“No, but belief in and adherence to doctrines and religious rules interferes with truly growing closer to God no matter the religion. Most people are certain they would love God. But in Christ’s day most did not. The religious who thought they did; did not. The irreligious who thought they didn’t, did. It’s a paradox. Let's do a little thought experiment. I am going to say something and I want you to give me your natural reaction. All right?"

"Sure."

"I just love your Mom. She's so kind and thoughtful. She just a very beautiful person."

Karen puzzled, never the less played along. "How do you know her? When did you meet her?"

“I haven’t met her I just read a little about what others have said about her.”

“You can’t claim to love someone if you don’t personally know them.”

“That’s true; especially concerning Jesus. It’s OK to respect and to follow Jesus’ teachings. It’s self-deceiving to then claim to love Him. By allowing yourself awareness of how you lack in your relationship with Christ, you then open yourself to growing and increasing that relationship. It’s another paradox. It’s like the fact that by first facing our guilt and acknowledging it before God ends up allowing Him to give us innocence.”

“Do you know Jesus?”

“No, I was invited to meet Him once, but I refused. Later he spoke to me once in passing but that certainly doesn’t give me the claim that I know Him.”

“Invited? Why did you refuse?”

“Fear. I was afraid of what knowing Him would do to my life. How could a nobody like me meet Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world? I was just trying to learn more about the divine. Now suddenly I would be on par with the famous great teachers. It was too much to allow.”

“You said he spoke to you. What did He say?”

“Yes, it was a few years after the invitation. My wife and I had struggled to work some things out. We achieved a greater commitment to each other and the next morning as I was getting up, Jesus spoke to me and said, “You may rest assured, salvation always comes, when you are ready.”

I knew she believed me. I don’t like to talk about those things with most people. But her heart was open and I felt assured that she would value what I was sharing.

I often have imaginary conversations.  Wish the real ones ever worked so well.

(I'm rereading this a few years later and it's clear why I would never made it as a play write.)

I would that you should remember...

Thinking back on so many things that are said in the Book of Mormon, the phrase: 'I would that ye should remember...' is written so many times. And always with a humble and sweet tone of voice. So many times I feel the desire come over me to say the same words when I hear or read of the foolishness taught or done by some to others. Here is what I 'would' that we all remember.

I would that christians of the United States should remember that Jesus was all about peace and forgiveness; not war, about blessing and guiding; not revenge, and about building and helping; not destruction.

I would that the religious should remember that God is about loving one another; not loyalty to one church above another.

I would that people should learn that by giving; we receive, that by helping; we grow, and that by teaching; we learn.

I would that we should know that our God is a perfect Father; that His love for us is perfect as is His plan for us individually and as a human family.

I would that our faith or trust in Him should go beyond the words and commandments of His past messengers and became placed in those currently explaining His will for us or higher yet in those divine beings here ready to guide us each personally.

I would that all should become aware that even as the Lord has poured out great knowledge of science and lifted us all to such an advanced way of earthly living; so too has He gently given those ready to receive it, great knowledge of an advanced way to live spiritually.

I would that others should taste true perfection, should feel real innocence and should allow the Spirit to enlighten their minds such that the words of the prophets (especially Isaiah) become simple and clear to them.

Above all else I would that everyone should humbly open their hearts and allow the Holy Spirit to share the Love of God with them. This Love is beyond any description and beyond what can be taught. But we can be taught to remove the blocks that prevent our awareness of It.

These things have been growing in my heart and mind; and I know there is something of the Spirit in them. I don't love or follow the Lord as I should. One of my sorrows is knowing I have failed to do most of what has been asked of me. But His patience is everlasting and perhaps these words will be whispered by the Spirit across the internet. May they do some little good. Amen.

Christwise.com

A Little More on Faith

While I was thinking of what to write next, I kept thinking that there was more to be said about Faith. Just to recap quickly:

Step 1: We must be a good person, Obey commandments. Be willing to treat others as well or better than ourselves, especially those who we might count as an enemy. Be focused on righteousness not religiousness. Be disciplined in diet and personal habits. We can’t let the body rule us.

Step 2: Contact the divine. ‘Divine’ because it doesn’t matter our preconceptions of the heavens. We mustn’t give up. Include attempts at the Gifts of the Holy Spirit. Let the focus on contact grow and expand over time. Don’t expect God the first time though. Far more likely it will be our attending angel.

Step 3: Contact doesn’t signify trust. (Faith) Ask for a chance to develop trust. It may come as a prediction (as it did for me), instructions to do something simple for reasons we don’t understand, or spiritual exercises of some kind. We won’t be asked to sacrifice our first born. Some have thought so. Why am I so sure? Because real faith takes a lot of time to grow. (Who have you ever met and had complete and instant trust? Same goes for trust with in God) Abraham wasn’t asked to make that sacrifice until he was well over a hundred and had had many previous faith-based experiences.

Step 4: Gifts of the Spirit will come. They always do. But they will be tailored to our needs and abilities as we grow. Some have come to me in such abundance that I asked to have them stopped. Others I experienced only once or twice just to help me understand them. But as Ramakrishna said: Don’t let them distract you from the final goal: God’s presence.

Warnings: There are pitfalls on the road to Faith. Some experiences will lift us so high we might think we would never do wrong again. It’s easy to take pride in our spiritual experiences which causes heart-breaking pain to follow the spiritual highs. It’s like learning to ride a bike: when you fall off and skin your knee, cry and nurse it a bit. Then get back on and try again. After awhile we all find our spiritual balance and learn to negotiate the curves and bumps in our path.

One misperception: We all want to be good. Christ told us to be perfect. So, many of us try for that ideal. But weakness is given us by God. God created us. It’s His place to continue creating us. Don’t try to usurp His role in our growth. Perfection is always gift of God’s grace, never an achievement of one’s own efforts. It’s delightful to experience perfection even for a short time. Ask for it. I experienced it for about 3 days once. (Led by the Light, Chapter 6) But pride ruined it. Still each experience teaches us more.

David Laird Castleton

Beginning faith

(Forward: My thoughts and ideas about Faith are still developing. I ask for your patience if these are not perfectly in line with what you believe. Who knows, in a year I might come to a completely different approach. I have to probe it’s meaning and possibilities. Here’s all I’ve figured out up to now.)

I want more faith in God. I would like to major in Faith. So I’ll go up to the University of Utah and sign up for Faith 101. I wish it worked that way. Really! So how does it work? The foundation of faith is clear: obey the commandments, be accepting: not judging, be a good person and be true. Some don’t give much thought to this ‘foundation’ idea, but I think it’s critical. There are those who sought Him earnestly in prayer and got no response. But on a closer look at their life I could see why. Sometimes they were lying or cheating, controlling or judging or they were far from generous. Spiritual qualities of the soul are to the heavens as physical locations of the body are on this earth. In either situation, before we call out for attention; get close enough (spiritually or physically) to the one you want so they might hear you. An unrepentant proud person seeking the Lord is spirituality like someone in LA yelling for the President in DC. His call simply won’t be heard or answered. Remember Christ: “You know the way to where I am going.” It is really that simple.

But supposing the foundation is well laid. Now what? The science of faith seemed a little vague. Little by little it became clear at least to me. To get a handle on faith I would first give it a simple practical definition. I think it’s a trusting relationship between a person and God. In order for two individual to begin to trust each other they have to meet and get to know each other. The same principle applies here. I realized that if someone came and claimed to know and trust my brother or my father; I might doubt them. If they then told me how they had read about them and followed their suggestions; I might question their faith. Had they never met them? Had they ever spent time together or worked and played together with my father? If not, then I wouldn’t find their claim of faith or trust in my family members credible.

I came to believe that for each of us there must come a transition from faith based on the written word to faith based on a living and personal relationship. It needn’t be a spectacular thing, but it must be real and not imagined. From time to time it doesn’t hurt to receive Gideon type proof: small, quiet, but clear evidence of God’s presence.

When I was in the fourth grade I tried to prophecy. I thought I was a good person so I tried to make predictions. It became embarrassingly clear that I had no more ability in prophecy than anyone else. But I wondered. A few years later a voice spoke in my head a prophecy which came true a few weeks later. This was a beginning of trust in something unseen, something living, real and greater than I. From time to time I sought the voice and from time to time it spoke to me. ( though these ‘times’ didn’t always co inside). It occurred to me that there must have been others in history who would have sought God too. So I went looking for stories of their experiences. Rumi, Kabir, Mohammed, Buddha, Bahaullah, Annalee Skarin, and especially Ramakrishna among others all had experiences that gave me clues as to what to expect.

Real faith begins with an earnest, durable, undeniable request for a divine response. Never give up the prayer. Rest go about daily tasks but come back to the request and the prayer whenever possible. There will be a response. Don’t control how it comes. Words from another person or book might be the start. Usually I hear from an angel. He can be very demanding but at the same time he has been very patient and forgiving. He has led me to the experiences I needed to grow and prepare me to do God’s will.

Blessings and gifts will be offered. But in order to be prepared to receive them, discipline may be required first. Worldly desires will have to be willing set aside like children set aside their toys as they mature. Prayerfully seek and attempt the Gifts of the Spirit. We should ask God questions and not be too quick to assume we know the meaning of the scriptures. Instead let Him unfold their meaning and beauty to us.

Ramakrishna had a very interesting piece of advice for seekers of God: As you begin to come closer to God, He will give you spiritual gifts. Many, who could have been great, have allowed themselves to be distracted with these divine gifts. But just like worldly possessions, they need be set aside that the greater gift of God’s presence might be realized. It’s an interesting thought. The scriptures speak of the Gifts of the Spirit. It’s clear that they are intended for us. It’s also clear that they might help us grow. But like just like anything else they can distract from greater things.

Faith requires a lot of hard work. But like a musical ability, after the discipline comes the fun. Miracles, knowing the future, speaking in tongues, gift of knowledge, out of body traveling are all quite thrilling. Just don’t let pride and egoism end it.

David Laird Castleton

Faith

In admiration of Joseph
A few years ago I realized I didn't have a very clear and simple handle on faith. After some thought and prayer I realized that the format Joseph used to explain what commonly happened to men seeking power and authority would work well for me. I think it came out well. I felt guidance in how to say much of it. Hope you like it. David

Many seek Christ but few find him, and why do they not find him? Because their minds are so thick with the teachings of men, and hearts so set in the ways of the world, and devoted to their organizations that they do not understand this most important principle- Faith in Christ comes by grace. This favor with God cannot be
obtained nor enjoyed except by truly being Christ's disciple: loving His sheep more than self, holding precious His truth, and willing to hear His voice.

That the Holy Spirit will testify of Him is sure. But when we confine our search within a certain set of doctrines and traditions, or help divide God's children by placing our loyalty onto some institution or religion, or pursue faith with the least desire for worldly acclaim; behold, the heavens cease to commune with us and the whispering guidance of the Holy Spirit fades, and when it disappears; amen to our testimony and faith in the Lord.

Before we know it, we are left to ourselves: our darkened thoughts, unenlightened guidance, and impotent prayers.

We have learned from quiet observation that it is the inclination and tendency of almost all men, that when they learn a little about their Lord, or so they believe, they will immediately assume they know Him well. With little or no evidence to support their conclusions, they attribute to themselves great faith and wisdom.

So it is that there are many who seek Christ, but few find Him.

No religion, calling, authority, priesthood, rite, or belief in a particular doctrine can bring a man closer to the Lord than the propensities of his heart will allow. No real understanding or clear perception of our divine Lord can or ought to be obtained either through man's efforts or his religion's. But in our hearts we may prepare Him room; and in our minds a proper alter; through truly seeking righteousness, raising our ethics, forgiving all error, having lasting humility which invites God's grace, rejoicing always in the Lord's work, and being ever grateful for His gifts and patience.

No religion holds a monopoly on the body of Christ, which is His Church, His true disciples. Only Jesus can determine its membership. But to participate in and support a religion is fine, for many do well as far as they teach discipleship in Christ.

But religions, however inspired or divine their origins, are,institutions of men, who by their very nature and disposition deny to some degree and in some way, truth and light; and therefore Christ. This is why faith in Christ can never be religious loyalty. These societies do serve a vital function, providing an environment for
teaching doctrines of salvation and getting us focused on Christ. But faith is mutual trust between a man and God. Organizations of men, with their self-interests and requirements of service and devotion, often distract from, and at times even block developing faith in Christ.

Our Lord comes as one walking through forests, over the fields and streams of life, not following the paths and paved roads of men. He has His own ways and destinations. Sometimes we may catch a glimpse of Him not knowing at first what we see. He only draws near as we value these moments of grace and truth. If we lay them aside as having little worth or regard them with the least prejudice because of doctrine or men, we invite our Lord to move on.

There is no religion, cult, or movement without the kind attention of our Father. No man lives untouched by the Holy Spirit. Let's join our Savior in blessing the lives of those we touch, discovering the Christ in them; allowing Jesus to be one with us.

Let our search for meaning be always unfettered, our pursuit of faith be solely in Christ, our forgiveness ever increasing, and our only goal: God. Treasure the pearls of heaven. Cherish each movement of God in our lives. Nurture the gifts of the Spirit and enfold into oursouls every good thing.

Then shall the angels above draw near and the deceptions from below lose all hold on us. The spirits of light will seek us and the face of our Lord will not be hid from us. Vested with garment of righteousness, the fear of God will become the love of God and His commandments: His certainty. Enlarging the borders of our understanding; His reassurances will no longer threaten us. With our testimony's stake firmly planted in Christ; our peace will grow until nothing on earth can disturb it. All will be drawn to our joy and trouble will shortly pass as the night's dark dream dissolves in the morning's bright light. We will walk as walked the Savior, upon the water and into the hearts of men.